Attitude One Liners Quotes

Huge list of some great quotes from your favorite people, movies, and shows.

Great List

Here are some great quotes for you to enjoy.

List of quotes to use from shows and movies

I love coming up with cheesy quotes from shows and movies to put in cards and emails. Life goes so quick but it is still a good idea to put together a nice quotes list. Here are some Attitude One Liners quotes items I have now:

  • I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.
  • Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
  • She wanted a puppy. But I didn't want a puppy. So we compromised and got a puppy.
  • You can consider yourself lucky in life, if the cognac you drink is older than the woman that you're sleeping with.
  • I'm an adult. I don't cry over spilt milk unless it has coffee in it.
  • The main thing I want this holiday season is for someone to wake me when it's over.
  • To the question ‘What are you doing here?' 72% answered negative.
  • If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?
  • Everything always ends well. If not – it's probably not the end.
  • I wish conversations were like user agreements where I could skip to the end and just agree.
  • I grew a beard thinking it would say "Distinguished Gentleman." Instead, turns out it says, "Senior Discount, Please!"
  • If you're looking for the best time to spill things on yourself, might I suggest wearing a white shirt and right before an interview.
  • I can totally keep secrets. It's the people I tell them to that can't.
  • God gave us the brain to work out problems. However, we use it to create more problems.
  • When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, "A very good doctor".
  • They should build the wall with Hillary's emails because nobody can get over them.
  • Down to earth, but still above all!
  • The longer you sleep – the more sleep you need. The more you eat – the bigger is your appetite.
  • Agree wid me or b wrong
  • Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.
  • Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things.
  • I Dont Do Different Things....... Its just that I Do Things Differently!
  • Those of you who think you know it all are damn annoying to those of us who do!
  • Be the change u want to see in this world
  • If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
  • The problem with trouble shooting is that trouble shoots back.
  • Girl you're like a car accident, cause I just can't look away.
  • Want to dance? Or should I go to hell again?
  • I am not an alcoholic. I simply enjoy living in liquid medium.
  • I hate two-faced people. It's so hard to decide which face to slap first.
  • When your only tool is a hammer, all problems start looking like nails.
  • You're not sure – outrun and make sure.
  • You don't notice the air, until someone spoils it.
  • Me & Ocean.....two deep dreams of god
  • Get a lyf.. n if possible get some brains too..
  • Never trust a dog to watch your food.
  • Smoking is a slow death! But we're not in a hurry…
  • Our conscience is clear- we don't use it.
  • Some people are so poor, all they have is money.
  • If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?
  • Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
  • An optimist believes that we live in the best world. A pessimist is afraid that it might be true.
  • Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.
  • Do you need space? Join NASA!
  • I think I'll tell my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage.
  • I disapprove of every conspiracy of which I am not a part.
  • A healthy sleep not only makes your life longer, but also shortens the workday.
  • Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
  • Before I tell my wife something important, I take both her hands in mine. That way she can't hit me with them.
  • I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem !!!
  • Life is all about mind and matter- i don't mind and u don't matter...
  • Maybe I don't have a superiority complex..maybe I am superior
  • I may not be getting laid tonight, but I'm definitely banging my snooze button in the morning.
  • If you're going through Hell, keep going.
  • Thinkin of my love .. u came to my mind .. what a bitch she was
  • Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back.
  • Secret to success is to know who to blame for ur failures
  • Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.
  • Rule#1-i m always right. rule#2-If u doubt or object,go to rule #1
  • You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.
  • Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
  • I make my own rules....Its easier to break them that way!!
  • One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.
  • Legends don't die... I am a living example!
  • Isn't it great to live in the 21st century? Where deleting history has become more important than making it.
  • A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
  • Whoever said nothing is impossible is a liar. I've been doing nothing for years.
  • You're not fat, you're just... easier to see.
  • Mostly men lie before the elections, sex and after fishing.
  • Man u actually put the dumb in wisdom
  • You should shower so the firemen don't chase you with a hose every day!
  • I drink to make other people interesting.
  • I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
  • Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much more for them.
  • Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
  • A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.
  • The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
  • Why is the day that you do laundry, cook, clean, iron and so on, called a day off?
  • How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?
  • Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
  • Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
  • Aaachooo i'm allergic to bullshit.
  • Feeling pretty proud of myself. The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months.
  • When you don't know, what you are doing, it's best, to do it quickly.
  • I would love to insult you...bt that wud be beyond the level of ur intelligence
  • If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?
  • Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes.
  • I've only been wrong once, and that's when I thought I was wrong.
  • You pull me down to ur level, n then u beat me by experience!!
  • If you can't beat the record, you can beat up its owner.
  • The same people who laugh at gypsy fortune tellers take economists seriously.
  • You have nothing left in your right brain and there is nothing right in your left brain
  • I thought I was wrong once, but it turns out I was mistaken.
  • There are no limits to my perfection – a monkey was thinking while looking at a human.
  • To weigh 50 kilos and say that you're fat, that is so female…
  • I'm not dumb, I just have a lot of blonde moments.
  • A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
  • I dont care or think about the people in my past....theres some reason why they din't make it to my future!
  • You can't have everything, where would you put it?
  • I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
  • I am not a dumb as you look
  • LEGENDS dont die..I am a LIVING EXAMPLE!
  • Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
  • I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.
  • I always knew that I could never be a lawyer because of my inability to pass a bar.
  • I doubt, therefore I might be.
  • Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
  • Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
  • My ass ur face... no difference
  • Die Like The Rest!!!
  • Updating your relationship status in public is fine. Updating your relationship problems in public is stupidity.
  • One day you're the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you're toast.
  • Transitional age is when during a hot day you don't know what you want – ice cream or beer.
  • You go girl, and dun come back!
  • I'm not lazy... I'm just on my energy saving mode.
  • I wanted to lose 10 pounds this year. Only 13 to go.
  • Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday.
  • If someone hates you for no reason, give that motherfucker a reason.
  • Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
  • Mess With The Best..........
  • There's good climate in heaven, but a better company in hell.
  • I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.
  • What do you get if you cross an owl with a witch? A bird that's ugly but doesn't give a hoot!
  • My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
  • A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
  • Dear Week, I'm so over you. I'm leaving you for your best friend, Weekend. Don't try to find us for at least 2 days.
  • I sleep better naked…why can't the flight attendant understand this?
  • If you can't buy a person, you can always sell him.
  • Karma takes too long, I'd rather beat the shit out of you just now.

Attitude One Liners

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