One Liner Halloween Jokes

Huge list of some great quotes from your favorite people, movies, and shows.


Here are some great one-liners for you to enjoy.

List of quotes to use from shows, movies, etc.

I love coming up with cheesy quotes from shows and movies to put in cards and emails. Life goes so quick but it is still a good idea to put together a nice quotes list. Here are some One Liner Halloween Jokes items I have now:

  • What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween? I don’t know. What? Candy corneas.
  • What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
  • "Halloween" = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
  • Why couldn't the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.
  • Where do ghosts like to trick-or-treat? Dead ends.
  • Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
  • What happened to the man who didn't pay his exorcist? His house was repossessed.
  • Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
  • What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us
  • The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something you're not will lead to a sweet reward.
  • Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare centres.
  • What is a witch's favourite class? Spelling.
  • What’s a ghost’s favourite dessert? I scream.
  • When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day
  • I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
  • What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Fish and ships.
  • Where did the ghost go on holiday? The Boohamas.
  • How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle his funny bone.
  • Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the boos.
  • I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so I'm dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.
  • I'll be your trick if you'll be my treat.
  • Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost (goes).
  • My daughter wants to be really scary this Halloween so instead of a costume, she is going to carry a school fundraising packet to every door.
  • What do you call wood when it’s scared? I don’t know. Petrified!
  • What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
  • How do you write a book about halloween? With a ghostwriter.
  • What's a nice ghoul like you doing in a crypt like this?
  • For Halloween we dressed up as almonds. Everyone could tell we were nuts.
  • What do birds say on Halloween? Twick or tweet.
  • Why didn't the skeleton go to prom? He had no body to go with.
  • What do you call a cheesy halloween dance? The muenster mash!
  • What do the movies Halloween and Shrek have in common? Michael Myers!
  • How can you tell that vampires love baseball? They turn into bats every night.
  • I have won first place in this Halloween costume contest 16 years in a row. This year I am dressed as a hotdog. I'm on a roll.
  • Where does Dracula keep his money? In a blood bank.
  • What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A "hollow-weenie!"
  • What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
  • What's a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!
  • What do ghosts serve for dessert? I Scream.
  • What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood
  • This Halloween, the only Candy I'm interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
  • Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
  • I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers
  • What do mummies listen to on Halloween? Wrap music.
  • For Halloween I'm going to write "Life" on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers

One Liner Halloween Jokes

Post of the list - One Liner Halloween Jokes