One Liner Cat Jokes

Huge list of some great quotes from your favorite people, movies, and shows.


Here are some great one-liners for you to enjoy.

List of quotes to use from shows, movies, etc.

I love coming up with cheesy quotes from shows and movies to put in cards and emails. Life goes so quick but it is still a good idea to put together a nice quotes list. Here are some One Liner Cat Jokes items I have now:

  • Why don't cats like online shopping? They prefer a cat-alogue.
  • Wanna hear a bad cat joke? Just kitten!
  • There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left? None, because they were copycats!
  • What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.
  • What did the cat say when he lost all his money? I'm paw!
  • My lion impression went down well. A roaring success.
  • What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother's sister? An aunt-eater!
  • What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The purrpatrator.
  • What do you call a pile of kittens? a meowntain
  • Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
  • Why did the cat run from the tree? Because it was afraid of the bark!
  • Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.
  • What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog? A terrified postman!
  • What do you call a flying cat? I'm-paws-sible.
  • Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
  • What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.
  • Why are cats so good at video games? Because they have nine lives!
  • Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.
  • What does a cat like to eat on a hot day? A mice cream cone.
  • What did the cat on the smart phone say? : Can you hear meow?
  • At any given time, the urge to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is never more than a whim away.
  • What is a cat’s favourite song? Three Blind Mice.
  • A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov’s dogs and Schrodinger’s cat. The librarian says, “It rings a bell, but I don’t know whether it’s there or not”
  • Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can’t? Your lap.
  • How do you know when your cat's done cleaning herself? She's smoking a cigarette.
  • Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
  • Went for dinner with the zoo animals the other day. They didn’t all bring their wallets, I ended up paying the lion’s share.
  • Why is the cat so grouchy? Because he’s in a bad mewd.
  • What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
  • What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching? You need to pay more attention to my¬†pawsture.
  • Why shouldn't you kidnap the kitten, Keanu? Because curiousity killed the cat burglar.
  • What is crunchy and says meow? A bis-cat.
  • If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws.
  • What is a cat’s way of keeping law & order? Claw Enforcement.
  • Got invited to the neighbours for pre-Christmas drinks with nibbles. They really spoil that cat.
  • What do you call an animal that can jump higher than a kangaroo? Cathletic.
  • How do cats end a fight? They hiss and make up.
  • What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
  • Lost money playing poker with one of the big cats at the zoo. Think he was a cheetah.
  • Friend of mine used to take a bit of pride in his job. He was a lion thief.
  • What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.
  • I saw a big cat wearing a very flamboyant hat and cape the other day. I think it was a dandy lion.
  • How did a cat take first prize at the bird show? He just jumped up to the cage, reached in, and took it.
  • When is a lion not a lion? When he turns into his cage!
  • How many cats can you put into an empty box? Only one. After that, the box isn’t empty.
  • I’m a whisker away from completing my model of a cat.
  • What does a cat have that no other animal has? Kittens.

One Liner Cat Jokes

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