List of one liners to use from life, shows and movies

I love coming up with cheesy quotes from shows and movies to put in cards and emails. Life goes so quick but it is still a good idea to put together a nice one liners list. Here are some Funny Retirement liners items I have now:

• Retirement is the time when you stop doing things for money and start doing them for fun.
• Retirement is the time when you no longer need an excuse to take a day off. Every day is a day off!
• Retirement is the time when you can look back on your career and say, 'What career?'
• I'm not retiring from life; I'm retiring from work.
• Retirement is when you trade your briefcase for a beach case.
  
• Retirement is the art of never getting up on a Sunday before noon.
• Retirement is the time when you can trade your briefcase for a suitcase and see the world.
• Retirement is the time to stop talking about the problems and start being the problem.
• Retirement is when you switch from I don't have time to I don't have to make time.
• Retirement is when you can wear mismatched socks and not care.
• Retirement is the chance to trade your office chair for a rocking chair.
• Retirement is like being a teenager again, except with more wrinkles and fewer responsibilities.
• Retirement is the opportunity to get rid of everything that doesn't make you happy, including the alarm clock.
• Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest but not so fully that you run out of money.
• Retirement is when you start counting your money in terms of naps, not dollars.
• Retirement is the only time in life when you can actually live your dreams and not just imagine them.
• Retirement is the only time when you can have a nap without being accused of laziness.
• Retirement is when you can finally follow your dreams, as long as they don't involve waking up early.
• Retirement is the time when you stop living at work and start working at living.
• Retirement is the perfect time to become a professional napper.
• Retirement is like a long vacation, except you never have to come back to work.
• Retirement is like a permanent vacation, except you don't have to pack or plan for it.
• Retirement: the moment when you stop worrying about living long enough to live long enough to stop worrying.
• Retirement: the only time when you can enjoy a guilt-free afternoon nap.
• Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught.
  
• Retirement is like a permanent weekend, except you can't blame Monday for your bad mood.
• Retirement is when you stop answering work emails promptly and start answering personal emails promptly.
• I'm retired, and I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow. Maybe I'll go back to work, just to relax.
• Retirement is the time when you can tell people where to go, and they have to go there.
• Retirement is the ultimate chance to sleep until you're hungry and eat until you're sleepy.
• Retirement is like being a kid again, except you have a lifetime of experience to be an even bigger troublemaker.
• Retirement is when you finally stop trading your time for money and start trading your money for time.
• Retirement: World's longest coffee break.
• Retirement is the time when you can finally read the books you've been collecting for years and use them as decorations.
• Retirement: the time when you discover you no longer have a bad hair day, because you don't have enough hair to have one.
• Retirement: When you stop making a living and start making a life.
• Retirement is the opportunity to do nothing without worrying about getting caught.
• Retirement: Twice as much husband, half as much money.
• Retirement is the moment when you realize that you traded the corner office for a recliner.
• Retirement is when you stop making a living and start making a life insurance claim.
• Retirement is when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
• Retirement is the time when you can wear your pajamas all day without being judged.
• Retirement is the art of never being too busy, except when someone asks you to do something.
• Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.
• Retirement is the only time when you can say that your boss is a real jerk and not worry about losing your job.
• Retirement is like a never-ending weekend, but without the alarm clock.
  
• Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.
• Retirement is the phase of life when you can finally say, I did my time, and now it's time to relax.
• Retirement is the perfect time to become a kid again, but with a bigger allowance.
• Retirement is the time when you can stop counting the hours and start making the hours count.
• Retirement is when your social calendar goes from busy to whatever.
• In retirement, every day is Saturday, except Sunday, which is still Monday.
• Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house.
• Retirement is like a never-ending weekend, but with a lot less money.
• Retirement is when you stop making a living and start making a life.
• Retirement is the opportunity to do all the things you never had time to do when you were working, like absolutely nothing.
• Retirement is the time to start annoying your spouse 24/7 instead of just on weekends.
• Retirement is when you stop working at a job and start working on a hobby.
• Retirement is the best time to pick up a new hobby, like napping.
• Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.
• Retirement is the phase of life when early to bed and early to rise becomes late to bed and early to rise.
• Retirement is when you finally have time to finish all the books on your nightstand, but your eyes are too tired to read them.
• Retirement is the time when you can finally say, I'm too old for this crap!
  
• Retirement is when you can have breakfast at lunchtime and lunch at dinnertime, because schedules don't matter anymore.
• Retirement is the world's longest coffee break.
• Retirement is the period when you trade your old boss for a new boss – your spouse.
• Retirement is the time when you can wear your favorite T-shirts every day and nobody cares.
• Retirement is having no alarm clock, no commute, and no mandatory meetings. It's like being on vacation every day.
• Retirement is when you stop living at work and start working at living.