Office One Liners

Huge list of some great quotes from your favorite people, movies, and shows.


Here are some great quotes for you to enjoy.

List of quotes to use from shows and movies

I love coming up with cheesy quotes from shows and movies to put in cards and emails. Life goes so quick but it is still a good idea to put together a nice quotes list. Here are some Office One Liners items I have now:

  • And you know what's going to be on your tombstone? Loser! - Michael Scott
  • Just pretend we're talking until the cops leave. - Creed Bratton
  • I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. - Kevin Malone
  • I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. - Michael Scott
  • Do you think that doing alcohol is cool?! - Michael Scott
  • Occasionally, I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me! - Michael Scott
  • Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship. - Andy Bernard
  • Apart from hitting her with my car, I have been so kind to that woman. - Michael Scott
  • If I don't have some cake soon, I might die. - Stanley Hudson
  • Well, happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame. - Michael Scott
  • I tried to talk to Toby and be his friend, but that is like trying to be friends with an evil snail. - Michael Scott
  • You all took a life here today. The life of the party. - Michael Scott
  • Like Odyssey on Facebook
  • I declare bankruptcy! - Michael Scott
  • You don't know me; you've just seen my penis. - Michael Scott
  • I hate looking at your face, I wanna smash it. - Michael Scott
  • Suddenly, she's not yo ho no mo'. - Michael Scott
  • Dwight, you ignorant slut! - Michael Scott
  • I want to be wined, dined, and sixty-nined. - Kevin Malone
  • I am better than you have ever been or ever will be. - Dwight Schrute
  • Where are the turtles?! - Michael Scott
  • The Taliban is the worst… great heroin though. - Creed Bratton
  • Who is Justice Beaver? - Dwight Schrute
  • There's too many people on this earth, we need a new plague. - Dwight Schrute
  • Well just tell him to call me ASAP as possible. - Michael Scott
  • Abraham Lincoln once said that, 'If you're a racist I will attack you with the North.' - Michael Scott
  • 'You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take' - Wayne Gretzky. - Michael Scott
  • I'm not superstitious, but I'm a little stitious. - Michael Scott
  • If I can't scuba, then what's this all been about? - Creed Bratton
  • Why are you the way that you are? - Michael Scott
  • If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice. - Michael Scott
  • I don't care what they say about me... I just want to eat. - Pam Beesley
  • The worst thing about prison was… the dementors! - Michael Scott
  • I am Beyoncé always. - Michael Scott
  • Sometimes when I start a sentence, I don't even know where it's going, I just hope I find it along the way. - Michael Scott
  • That's what she said. - Michael Scott

Office One Liners

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