One Liners about Dogs

Huge list of some great quotes from your favorite people, movies, and shows.


Here are some great quotes for you to enjoy.

List of quotes to use from shows and movies

I love coming up with cheesy quotes from shows and movies to put in cards and emails. Life goes so quick but it is still a good idea to put together a nice quotes list. Here are some One Liners about Dogs items I have now:

  • How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg?… Four; calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
  • If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. —Mark Twain
  • No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.
  • A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down. —Robert Benchley
  • Experience Once-In-A-Lifetime Luxury
  • The nose of the bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go.
  • Dogs are wise. They crawl away into a quiet corner and lick their wounds and do not rejoin the world until they are whole once more. —Agatha Christie
  • All dogs look up to you; all cats look down to you… only the pig looks at you as an equal.
  • That dog was so lazy he leaned against a fence to bark.
  • A friend’s dog swallowed a cushion. The vet has described its condition as comfortable.
  • Happiness is a warm puppy with an empty bladder.
  • I went to the Isle of Dogs once. Apparently it’s the best friend of the Isle of Man…
  • When a dog runs at you, whistle for him. —Henry David Thoreau
  • … that indefatigable and unsavory engine of pollution
  • I know another dog who goes and sits in the corner every time the doorbell rings. He’s a boxer.
  • The vet says the dog will not lick the salve because the salve tastes bad to the dog… hello?… he's already licking his ass.
  • Friend’s dog just got a place in a canine display team. It wasn’t easy, he had to jump through hoops to get it.
  • I called my dog Blacksmith. Every time I opened the door, he made a bolt for it.
  • I spend three minutes every day choosing a TV channel to leave on for my dog; then I go to work, and people take me seriously as an adult.
  • A barking dog is often more useful than a sleeping lion.
  • Some dog I got too; we call him Egypt because he leaves a pyramid in every room.
  • My mom took me to a dog show and I won!!
  • I used to have a dog who liked red wine. He was a bordeaux collie.
  • I’m fond of pigs… dogs look up to us… cats look down on us… pigs treat us as equal.
  • Yesterday I was a dog. Today I’m a dog. Tomorrow I’ll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There’s so little hope for advancement. —Snoopy, as written by Charles Schulz
  • The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he’s the only one in the world who treats me like I’m The Beatles.
  • He that lies down with dogs, shall rise up with fleas.
  • I know someone who has a dog that keeps eating garlic. His bark is worse than his bite.
  • Let sleeping ducks lie.
  • I love my hunting dog… well I loved my hunting dog… I'm not very good at hunting.
  • A local dog gave birth at the side of the road. She got fined for littering.
  • Dogs are better than human beings because they know but do not tell. —Emily Dickinson
  • Dogs are our link to paradise. They don’t know evil or jealousy or discontent. —Milan Kundera
  • Threw a ball for my dog last night. It’s a bit extravagant I know but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner suit.
  • Local dog barks at everyone. He’s a cross breed.
  • Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
  • My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child; we can’t decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
  • Outside of a dog, a book is your best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
  • Why do I always meet women as I’m leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? … and it’s always on the day I forgot my dog…
  • All bachelors love dogs, and we would love children just as much if they could be taught to retrieve.
  • When walking a dog, be sure then animal is smaller than you.
  • We’ve begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet – so we bought a dog; well, it’s cheaper, and you get more feet.
  • When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.
  • The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
  • My dog keeps barking everytime there is someone at the door. Don’t know why, it’s almost never for her.
  • Who knew that dog saliva can mend a broken heart. —Jennifer Neal
  • Got myself a robot puppy. Dogmatic.
  • A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.
  • We could have bought a small yacht with what we spent on our dog and all the things he destroyed. Then again, how many yachts wait by the door all day for your return?—Josh Grogan
  • I hate when women compare men to dogs; men are not dogs… dogs are loyal; I’ve never found any strange panties in my dog’s house
  • Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
  • Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
  • No matter which side of door the cat or dog is on, it's the wrong side.
  • Dachshund: An animal half a dog high by a dog and a half long.
  • I got a new dog… he’s a paranoid retriever; he brings back everything because he’s not sure what I threw him.
  • A friend of my wanted to start collecting dogs. I gave him a couple of pointers.
  • The other day, I was walking my dog around my building… on the ledge.
  • Dogs are forever in the push-up position.
  • Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? … it’s hardly ever for them.
  • Any man who does not like dogs and wants them about does not deserve to be in the White House. —Calvin Coolidge
  • I loathe people who keep dogs; they are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
  • I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
  • It’s the only state in the country where you can stand on your front porch and actually watch your dog run away for three days.
  • My parents had to tie a pork chop around my neck so the dog would play with me.
  • Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. —Ann Landers
  • I saw a sign on shop door that said ‘Guide Dogs Welcome’. I walked in and was greeted by a Labrador who thanked me for shopping and took my coat
  • I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.

One Liners about Dogs

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