Here are some great quotes for you to enjoy.

List of quotes to use from shows and movies

I love coming up with cheesy quotes from shows and movies to put in cards and emails. Life goes so quick but it is still a good idea to put together a nice quotes list. Here are some One Liners Work items I have now:

• Anyone having supervisory responsibility for the completion of a task will invariably protest that more resources are needed.
• My job is secure. No one else wants it.
• Critic: One who boasts of being “hard to please” because nobody tries to please him.
• I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.
• I think this generation will have to go into separate rooms and text each other to work out their problems.
• All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
• I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
• What do you give a florist who is sick?
• Most people are shocked when they find out how incompetent I am as an electrician.
  
• The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are always funny.
• I wish I had put ballet shoes on him and not boxing gloves.
• I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me, she said yes - about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
• Dance like it hurts… love like you need money… work when people are watching.
• I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.
• My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.
• I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
• I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
• The Man Who Created Autocorrect Has Died. Resturant In Peace.
• I have a few jokes about unemployed people but it doesn't matter none of them work.
• There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices… in the back you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.
• 1. Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.
  
• “Pickup artists” and “garbagemen” should switch names.
• The more a recruit knows about a given subject, the better chance he has of being assigned to something else.
• A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.
• Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
• If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
• My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch, it might be me.
• An economist is someone who, on being shown something that works in practice, wonders if it would work in theory.
• If not controlled, work will flow to the competent man until he submerges.
• 1. Any line, however short, is still too long.
• A guy gave me a job at an information booth – no questions asked.
• There is a new trend in our office; everyone is putting names on their food. I saw it today, while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin.
• It’s the gossip columnist’s business to write about what is none of his business.
• The first myth of management is that it exists.
• A healthy sleep not only makes your life longer, but also shortens the workday.
• Never call an accountant a credit to his profession a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
• Cleaning mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.
• Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
• Putting an ex-fighter in the business world is like putting silk stockings on a pig.
• Statistician: Someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
• With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guy's truck leaves him too.
• Clergyman: A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of bettering his temporal ones.
• Why kill time when you can make it work for you?
• If the hours are long enough and the pay is short enough, someone will say it's women's work.
• Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
  
• Unemployment: The usual alternative to overwork.
• When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
• When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me.
• I’m too lazy to work and too scared to steal.
• Acting is pretending, and the most difficult part is pretending you’re eating regularly.
• The reward for a job well done is more work.
• My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I want to split up." "Good idea," I replied. "We can cover more ground that way."
• Management: A class of semi-skilled corporate hirelings whose rise within the organization correlates directly with the amount of work they delegate to their more-talented underlings.
• The ratio of time involved in work to time available for work is usually about 0.6.
• A teacher is someone who talks in our sleep!
• A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
• Should not the Society of Indexers be known as Indexers Society of, The?
• Professionals built the Titanic; amateurs built the ark.
• I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.
• To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero, thanks for nothing!
  
• My first job was being a diesel fitter at a pantyhose factory. As they came off the line, I would hold them up and say, "yeah, Deez-el fit her."
• The one time during the day you lean back and relax is the one time the boss walks by.
• It is easier to square the circle than to get round a mathematician.
• Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
• My doctor told me I needed to break a sweat once a day so I told him I'd start lying to my wife.
• I quit my job at the helium gas factory; I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.
• The two most important jobs in America are held by foreigners – room service and goal-kicking.
• He worked like hell in the country so he could live in the city, where he worked like hell so he could live in the country.
• I live in constant fear that my kid will become a famous artist or painter and I will have thrown out about a trillion dollars of her work.
• Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
• People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now.
• To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.